Drunken Antics
by Jadelioness
Summary: Oneshot. Marik and Bakura attempt to seduce Kaiba at a party. Threesome. BakuraxKaibaxMarik. Lemon.


**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

**Warning**: Contains Yaoi and Lemon.

**Author's Note**: I love this threesome and I have been on a crazed Yu-Gi-Oh writing spree lately, so enjoy and please review if you like it.

Seto Kaiba sat alone at the table in the farthest, darkest corner of the room where they were celebrating Yami winning the current prestigious dueling tournament in town or something like that, glaring at anyone who dared make eye contact. After Yami had soundly beaten everyone, Marik and Bakura, both sulking from having lost, suggested a party to celebrate Yami's 'surprising' triumph. Kaiba could tell by their matching evil grins that they were more interested in getting obscenely drunk so they could forget the fact that they had both been, once again, defeated by the King of Games. Mokuba, annoying Kaiba's glare of death, suggested they have it at their mansion. Kaiba instantly refused, but no one seemed to listen to him. When they arrived, Bakura and Marik promptly raided his liquor cabinet and seemed to have brought his entire wine cellar back with them. Now he was reduced to sulking in his own house while every person in the world he hated and was annoyed by indulged in lewd drunken acts on his furniture. Kaiba, seeing no other options, immediately drank himself into a stupor.

Anzu was sitting at the big table in the center of the room buzzed off of champagne and rambling about friendship to Yugi and Yami, completely oblivious to the fact that Yami's hand was down Yugi's pants. Neither were paying any attention at all to her. But then again, she was facing an empty chair, talking animatedly, apparently under the impression it was filled with one of her friends.

Earlier she had started singing some truly awful song in a high screechy voice that made Kaiba want to throw up. Bakura and Marik seemed to have taken this as a direct challenge and started singing some extremely violent drinking song, in an attempt to drown her out. They never quite succeeded, but Anzu was apparently disheartened by their antics and had given up all together, much to the relief of Kaiba's eardrums.

The strange boy with the funny hair was passed out in his chair. Malik and Otogi had drawn obscene pictures all over his face in permanent marker. Kaiba smirked to himself as he imagined the nonce looking in the mirror in the morning.

After defacing Tristan, Malik and Otogi cornered Jounochi behind the bar and all that could be seen or heard of them was the spikes of Malik's hair bobbing up on occasion and feral animal noises randomly emitting from the general area, which Kaiba chose to ignore, planning on calling someone to re-carpet the room in the morning.

Kaiba growled as he noticed Ryou and his younger brother happily perched at the end of the bar playing some sort of card game and pointing and giggling at whatever lewd acts were taking place behind the bar.

He started to get up to tell Mokuba off, but then the room started spinning and Kaiba remembered he too was drunk. _You'd have to be_, he thought,_ to witness this bunch_.

As he eased back into his chair and the urge to vomit had passed, he noticed something even more disturbing than his younger brother watching a threesome.

Marik and Bakura were sitting across the room from him, and both were watching him with matching maniacal grins and glowing eyes. Kaiba shifted uneasily under their predatory gaze and then turned his attention to his empty glass, hoping the insane yamis would pass out or something equally incapacitating.

"What do you think?" Marik asked.

"Easy," Bakura replied, "look how drunk he is. Poor bloke can't even stand up straight to scold his brother."

Marik glanced sideways at Bakura. "Is that the only way you ever get laid? When your partner's drunk?"

Bakura glared at him. "You fuck me when you're not drunk," he retorted.

Marik grinned, "Yeah, but I am evil and insane, so that doesn't count."

Bakura rolled his eyes.

"So you think you could do it?" Marik asked, going motioning towards Kaiba.

"Of course," Bakura said smugly. "Could you?"

Marik looked at Bakuras like he had just asked an extremely stupid question. "Bakura, love, who _wouldn't_ fuck me?"

Bakura was about to object, and then realized this was indeed a valid point and nodded in agreement instead.

"Let's wager on it then," he said, sweeping his gaze over the increasingly uncomfortable looking CEO.

Marik grinned, "What does the winner get?"

Bakura thought about this for a moment. "Sex."

Marik looked slightly confused. "Won't we be getting sex anyway?"

"Oh yeah," Bakura said, pouring Marik and himself another drink.

"I have a better idea," Marik grinned. "Let's skip the wager and just go straight to the sex part."

Bakura passed him a drink, "I like the way you think."

Kaiba risked another glance in the direction of the crazy yamis. He wondered what they were toasting to.

Their heat filled gaze settled over him once more as they knocked back their drinks, and Marik idly ran his fingers through Bakura's thick mane.

Kaiba stared decidedly at the wall. He could feel their hungry gaze on him, raking over his tense body. Then, to his utmost horror, they both got up and strolled over to where he was sitting, hands around each other's waists and grinning wickedly.

As they approached Kaiba, Marik said, "Bit lonely over here by yourself, is it?" Kaiba noticed Bakura's pale fingers were stroking the dark skin of Marik's side that was exposed by his short shirt.

Kaiba swallowed and tried to ignore his hardening erection as he replied in an even voice, "Not really."

"Pity," Bakura purred, leaning towards the table, "We were hoping you could use the company."

Kaiba stood up, a little too quickly because the room started spinning again. He reached out a hand for the wall to steady himself, but found Marik instead. He barely managed to suppress a squeak and jerked his hand back.

"Actually," Kaiba said, a little too breathless for his liking, "I was just going to go back to my room."

"Wonderful," Bakura grinned, "We'll escort you."

"That's really not necessary," Kaiba muttered, trying to take step forward and failing miserably as he stumbled.

Bakura caught him. Kaiba cursed himself as his face came to rest against Bakura's shoulder, his hair tickling his cheek. He felt Bakura's finger's gently stroking his back through his thin shirt, soothingly.

Kaiba slowly pushed himself away from Bakura, trying to stand on his own. He felt Marik come up on his right and wrap a strong arm around his waist to support him.

"He really is piss ass drunk, isn't he, Bakura," Marik said cheerfully as Bakura moved to support him on his left side.

"You really shouldn't try to drink away your woes of losing to the Pharoh, mate." Bakura said silkily. "We've tried it, doesn't much do any good except leave you with a splitting headache in the morning, which only makes the pharaoh more annoying than usual."

Kaiba looked at him fuzzily. "Then why are you two drunk?"

Bakura looked confused for a minute, then turned to Marik. "Why are we drunk?"

Marik seemed to think about this and shrugged. "Seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Doesn't it usually?" Kaiba asked from between the two yamis. Marik laughed and Bakura just grinned.

"Come on," Marik said. "Let's go do something fun." Bakura grinned at him and they dragged Kaiba out of the room and down the hall.

"Where's your room?" Marik asked him. Kaiba tried to remember.

"I don't know," he said.

Marik stopped and looked at him. "How can you not know where your own room is?"

"I'm drunk," Kaiba said, as if it wasn't apparent.

Bakura laughed on his other side. "I guess we could just have sex in the hall."

Kaiba paled visibly which only made Bakura laugh more.

"Guest room, this way," Kaiba said gruffly, motioning down the hall to their left with a jerk of his head. They dragged him down the hall in the direction he mentioned. Marik had started humming the song they'd been singing earlier, a decidedly evil smile spreading across his face.

Kaiba was beginning to feel much better, he noticed. He was pretty sure he could walk by himself now, but he saw no need to inform the yamis of such, both of whom still had their arms wrapped securely around his waist.

They trooped down the hall and stopped in front of the door Kaiba jerked his head towards.

Bakura kicked it with one boot-clad foot. The door stood impassive. Marik glanced at Bakura around Kaiba.

"You know they have these great new inventions called doorknobs now, right mate?"

"It's not nearly as fun," Bakura mumbled as Marik opened the door.

The three duelists slid inside, and the yamis let Kaiba collapse on the bed as Marik shut the door behind him.

Kaiba sat with his hands on his knees, and when he looked up, both yamis were standing side by side, grinning at him.

Kaiba felt his heart jump at the sight of them.

"I think Kaiba looks a little uncomfortable in those expensive clothes of his, don't you think Bakura?" Marik said, never taking his eyes off of Kaiba.

"Yeah," Bakura responded, "maybe we should help him out of those."

Before Kaiba had a chance to respond, Marik and Bakura glided over to the bed, perching on either side of him.

Bakura's fingers ghosted down Kaiba's chest and began to nimbly unbutton his shirt. Kaiba felt like he should object, but then suddenly Marik's hand was around the back of his neck and pulling him into a forceful kiss. The yami's lips were surprisingly soft and Kaiba gave in and kissed him back. Was he really this easy?

He didn't even realize Bakura had completed his task until he felt another pair of warm lips on his neck, working their way down his chest as he was pushed back to lie on the bed. Apparently he was.

Marik was still kissing him on the mouth and Kaiba had a fleeting thought that he needed to breathe, and then decided he didn't care as he felt Bakura's tongue swirl around one of his nipples, biting gently. Kaiba moaned into Marik's mouth and the other boy wound his fingers in Kaiba's hair and began to kiss him more forcefully, encouraged by the response he was getting.

Kaiba felt a hand slide down his stomach and undo the buttons of his pants. He didn't know whether it was Bakura or Marik, but he didn't really care.

Kaiba's back arched into the air and a very undignified noise came from him when Marik grasped his newly revealed length. This made Bakura grin and pull away from his ministrations to watch Marik pleasure Kaiba for a moment. Kaiba made a strangled noise and reached for Bakura, upset at the loss of contact. Bakura only laughed and swatted his hand away.

"Be patient, love. It'll be worth your while," he said. Marik broke off his kiss with Kaiba to grin at his lover, and then quickly resumed.

Bakura moved to the end of the bed and grabbed hold of Kaiba's pant legs and pulled until he managed to get them off. Then he realized he and Marik were still wearing their pants as well.

"Can't have that," Bakura mumbled, shimmying out of his own pants. He went to tug Marik's off, and both of them ended up falling off of the bed into a tangle on the floor.

Kaiba sighed. It's a wonder those two ever manage to get anything done. When both of them emerged, Marik was now pant-less and looking mildly annoyed and Bakura was grinning.

"Just for that," Marik told Bakura, "you get to bottom." Bakura opened his mouth to argue, and then noticed Kaiba lying seductively on the bed, watching them both and trailing a hand down his chest.

"Are we going to do this, or are you two going to argue some more?" he asked through half lidded eyes, hand trailing down to wrap around his own length, giving it a few quick tugs and then glancing up at the two yamis, who stared wide eyed at him.

"Bottom it is," Bakura mumbled and climbed onto the bed, kissing Kaiba's luscious mouth. Bakura's sharp teeth nicked his tongue, but Kaiba was far from minding as the coppery taste of blood filled his mouth.

Just as he was wondering where Marik had gone, he felt a slicked finger enter him. Kaiba arched into Bakura at the sudden intrusion, crying out. Marik allowed him to adjust to it, then added another finger, scissoring inside him. Bakura was straddling Kaiba's waist, continuing his kiss and lightly running his fingers up and down Kaiba's chest.

Marik added a third finger, stretching him. He stroked Kaiba's thigh reassuringly as he continued his intrusion.

Kaiba was squirming under Bakura with need. Finally breaking their kiss, he growled, "Enough, just fuck me already."

Marik laughed softly, "So impatient." Marik withdrew his fingers, noticing Bakura had moved down to kiss Kaiba's throat, running his sharp incisors menacingly along the large vein there. Marik let his fingers run over the curve of Bakura's pale ass, possessively.

He squirted more lubricant into his hand and was prepared to give Bakura the same treatment, when he heard him growled, "No."

Marik looked at him, confused. "What?"

"No," Bakura growled again, pulling away from Kaiba. "Just him."

Marik shrugged and Kaiba thought he heard him mutter, "Masochist," under his breath.

Marik moved back to Kaiba and flipped him over so that he was on his knees, and before he could say anything about his position, Marik had driven into him in one brutal thrust. Kaiba tried to muffle the scream building in his throat, but didn't quite manage. It came out in kind of a strangled gasp that made Bakura smirk.

Marik gave him a short time to adjust, then wrapped his arms around the taller boy's waist and started pumping in and out in a slow steady rhythm. Kaiba's eyes were clenched shut as he adjusted to Marik's width, so he didn't notice Bakura move underneath him until he felt a cold, slick hand grip his length.

Kaiba's eyes flew open to see Bakura stretched out beneath him like some obscene feline. Marik leaned low over Kaiba and whispered in his ear, "Fuck him."

Kaiba glanced down at Bakura, who was grinning up at him insanely, licking his lips. Kaiba tried to raise a questioning eyebrow at him, but at that moment, Marik hit a spot inside him that sent pleasure coursing through his body. He let out a long animalistic moan, and gripped Bakura's waist, positioning himself as Marik rammed into him from behind.

He tried to enter Bakura slowly, but Marik pounding into him made it nearly impossible and he thrust in up to the hilt in one stroke. Bakura cried out and reached up to grip Marik's thighs, urging them both on.

Kaiba managed to get into the same rhythm as Marik as Bakura squirmed lusciously beneath him, making low growling noises of pleasure.

Marik's thrusting became more erratic as he came closer to the edge. His fingers were digging into Kaiba's hips and he knew there would be marks there in the morning, but didn't really care.

Kaiba growled in appreciation as Marik hit his prostate, managing to change his angle slightly so he could to the same to Bakura. He knew he had succeeded when he was greeted with a scream from the white haired boy beneath him.

"Ha-Harder," Bakura cried out. Kaiba wasn't sure who he was talking too, but both of them quickened their pace and Bakura's screams became louder.

Kaiba knew he was close and leaned down to kiss Bakura passionately as he wrapped his hand around the other boy's length and gave several quick tugs as he came. Hard.

Marik heard Kaiba scream louder than Bakura as he came. He quickened his pace and managed only a couple more thrusts before he came forcefully inside Kaiba, just as Bakura came with a feral scream all over Kaiba's hands.

Marik let himself roll off of Kaiba and collapse on his back next to Bakura. Kaiba eased himself off gingerly and lay down on Bakura's other side.

All three were breathing heavily. Marik and Bakura were grinning at each other in satisfaction.

"Kaiba," Marik gasped, "you should get drunk more often."

"Mmhmm," Bakura nodded in sleepy agreement.

Kaiba favored them with a rare smile.

"If this is what happens when I'm drunk, maybe I will," he replied.

Bakura and Marik glanced at each other, grinning.


End file.
